On Being a Pastor's Wife

I never tell people I am a pastor's wife. I figure they need to get to know me first, before they have to worry about saying something off color, off key, or just plain off. People are usually surprised at first, but when they realize that a celestial choir doesn't start to hum when I enter the room, they go back to their usual business. I always tell people to call me by my first name, and I have disappointed more than one confused soul who doesn't understand why I can't sing, play the piano, or direct the choir.

When I was teaching public school in Tennessee, a student discovered that I was a "preacher's wife.":

"Miz. G.," he said, "I hear you a preacher's wife."

"Yes, Vincent, my husband is a minister."

"That makes you the first lady!"

"The first lady of what?"

For those of you ignorant of southern mores and social norms, many African-American churches refer to the minister's wife as "the first lady." I did not know that until that day, but it was an idea that I liked immensely.

By the way, I like to get to know people well, and then I am usually the one to make the off remark. It breaks the ice, and it makes my husband so proud.