Do you got good English?

I was an English teacher. My husband taught English. My mother taught 5th and 7th grade language arts. I have MANY friends who teach English. My brother is a writer and wrote the first comment on my blog critcizing my grammar. I admitted my error. He absolved me, and then I proceeded to go out and commit numerous egregious sins against syntax and diction.

I admit, I am a bit rusty. See! I just committed comma splice! If you don't use it, you lose it. See! I did it again. Another comma splice, frosted with a cliche.

Shortly after I talked with him about how the part of my brain that keeps track of the rules concerning possessives, demonstratives, objectives, verbals, commas, semi-colons, conjunctions, and the proper use of farther/further is turning into cottage cheese, I took a quick trip to our local bookstore and picked up The Grammar Bible. (I just realized the coincidence, just now, at this moment!). The reason whyI had to purchase the book is because all of my teaching stuff is packed away in several boxes and I haven't had the heart to pull it out from storage and go through it. So, dear reader, if I commit a grammatical felony against your soft heart, please let me know. I will make the correction as quickly as possible, and I may give you extra credit on your next test. Of the grammatical felons, I am one of the worstest. I did that on purpose, you know.