Why I appreciate two televisions in the house

"Please turn it to Zorro."

"What channel?"

"Twenty."

"Why would I want to watch a show where I don't know what they are saying?"

"I'll translate for you."

Twenty minutes later, The Rev. was still trying to explain to me the intricacies of this particular Hispanic novella. I was thoroughly confused, as I could only pick out a few words of the dialogue that was on t.v.

"Can I please watch the news?"

"Don't you want me to learn my Spanish?"

"How was your Spanish class tonight?"

"You mean my ESL class? My ENGLISH class?"

"Do you speak Spanish to them at ESL?"

"Yes."

"THEN IT IS A SPANISH CLASS--at least for you."

"You really should learn Spanish."

I did not respond to that statement because the thought in my head was, "Yeah, let me squeeze that in between running a store and becoming a church delinquent." Although it is a very poor analogy, I can liken it only to St. Paul's statement about doing what he should not do and not doing what he should do. I should learn Spanish...

"Did that character just say guapo?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that bat poop?"

"That's guano"

"Oh. Can you please turn it to the news?"