Sunday, October 29, 2006

It was long because it was a festival Sunday

"Did you think church ran long today?"

I give him a look that says, "Don't you realize I think all of your sermons are five minutes too long?"

"Weeelllll, yes, I do think it ran long."

"Any reasons why?"

Insert same look here.

"Weellll, could it be we sang a hymn that was ten verses long, followed by one that was eight verses long? Plus a confirmation and a two hour Bible class?"

"What did you think of my sermon?"

"It's good to have faith."

"Well, yeah. Did you follow my theme?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yea, but I got what you were saying. It's good to have faith. Be happy that I can summarize a 22 minute sermon in five words. I could have said 'Your sermon was on God.'"

He hates it when I have a point.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Where have you been?

I haven't written in quite some time, and I am sure there are one or two people in America who are sad. Okay, maybe three, but I really don't count my parents as fans. They have to like me, I have their DNA.

To say I have been busy is an understatement. Today is day thirteen in a stretch of days that will end on Saturday. The store has officially opened its doors, and we have been busy, busy, busy. I won't bore you with the details of shoddy construction, downed computers, incompetent computer techs and the like. Just know that if it could go wrong this week, it did. I handled it with as much grace as I could, given that several of my employees know that I am married to a minister. I didn't swear at anybody; I didn't threaten anyone with bodily harm; I didn't lose my temper. I just thought about doing all of the aforementioned, and then promptly repented. My husband can rest easy. I haven't been around too much to say something embarassing.

This weekend is Reformation. We crazy Lutherans have a special service and then celebrate our heritage by drinking beer and eating sauerkraut. It is also the weekend when my childhood church is rededicated after being destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. I would like nothing more than to be there, but life and responsibilities in California are keeping me here.

I always like to say that my formative primary years in Louisiana had a profound impact on who I am now. Mardi Gras, crawfish, and drive through daquiri stands made quite an impression on my young mind. The church in New Orleans started as a mission congregation, and we met in the Pastor's garage. Until I was eleven years old, I thought only the Catholic church had pews. We had folding chairs and stood up for communion. But we went to Mardi Gras parades together, had a crawfish boil in the spring, and the church put out a cookbook called "Louisiana Lagniappe." It is the best church cookbook I own, and I don't think there are any recipes for hotdish in it. If there are, the recipes probably call for hot sauce and alligator tail. How many potlucks have you been to where there is shrimp etoufee?

My parents are making the drive down this weekend, as is my brother. If The Rev. and I could do a drive by re-dedication we could, but I am working and there is a joint service in San Diego that we will attend. My heart will be in the Crescent City, though, and I plan on getting my body there soon.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Words I hate

Hate is a strong word, but there are words that I hate in the English language. Most of my distaste is because the words have become trite and overused. Some of the words have been so beaten to death and abused by corporate lingo and jargon that I often find myself counting how many times an associate or coworker can use them in a conversation. After hearing the word "feedback" used 7 times in the span of 15 minutes I wanted to stab myself in the eye with the nearest highlighter. Here are some more words, in no particular order:

partner--now, if you are from Texas it would be "pad-nuh" and that would probably be more linguistically acceptable, considering I pronounce "eyelet" like "Ah-leht."

feedback--for some reason I think of a feedbag muzzling a horse's mouth when this word is used.

execute--I know that this can mean the act of completing a task, but it also means to kill someone. Hello! It means to kill someone!

buy-in--as in "get the person's buy in." I find that being a nice person with a sincere concern for someone else usually gets their buy-in. But what do I know?

Amazing. I know of one person who is truly amazing and he rose from the dead after being in the grave for three days. I don't think your grilled lamb with pancetta sauce and rosemary potatoes counts as such. Tasty, but not amazing.

There. I feel better. No more complaints. Life is good. I am blessed. Now excuse me while I go give some feedback to someone executing a task so that I can get their buy-in to partner with me on an amazing adventure.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Tidbits of Conversation because our plates are FULL

The Rev. and I have been going ninety miles an hour with our hair on fire these past few weeks. My store opens in a week. MY STORE OPENS IN A WEEK!

Last night we did a marathon shopping trip to four stores in an hour and a half so that we could make it home on time to watch CSI: Miami. Priorities, people, priorities.

"Shaving cream in a small tube, I can't find shaving cream in a small tube."

"Airborne, I need Airborne. Lozenges, do you have any lozenges? I need some lozenges before I get on the plane tomorrow."

(I magically whip out a tube of Airborne and a bag of cough drops out of my purse.)

"Packing. I hate packing. What do you think about this tie with these pants?"

"I think that if whining were an Olympic competition, you would be a strong contender."

"I would so win the gold."

"No question."

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


The Rev. has a milestone birthday tomorrow. If anyone gets a chance--holler a happy birthday to him.

I usually fry him a chicken for his birthday. This year he has requested chicken fried steak. If we have no kitchen it will be Popeyes.

The joys of half a house

Life has been happening since our return to the half house off the interstate. The wedding was lovely, and it was even lovelier to reconnect with cousins I last saw at my wedding 7 years ago. Idaho was lovely, even though I battled a cold the whole week I was gone, and I kept The Rev. at breathing distance from me most of the week because he had a cold and I was not going to be sick at a conference. I took to calling him a leper, which he did not appreciate. He kept his distance; I still got sick. I am ready for the Dear LORD to return today, just so that I can quit hacking, hacking, hacking.

Life keeps happening around here, whether we want it to or not. Today, I was meeting with my management team at my house when I noticed water seeping from underneath the refrigerator. I thought it was leaking, but after pulling the fridge from the wall and using every towel in the house to wipe up the mess (THAT IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION), I discovered that it was coming from the wall. Our neighbors had a pipe break in their slab and the water damage on their side of the wall was much worse than the water damage on our side. However, given that sharing a wall is like a commitment bordering on the realm of some weird marriage, it is safe to say that the pipe break could be considered ours also, as we had to have their repairman come into our house to inspect for damage. When the first words out of his mouth are, "You do have homeowner's insurance," I know that celebrations involving presents for The Rev.'s birthday, my birthday, and the birthday of Jesus are out of the question. Sigh. We were planning on a kitchen remodel in the next 18 months, not the next 18 minutes.

I'll keep you posted.